Pack Your Bags, We're Moving

It's been a week since I arrived in Memphis. And, Tomorrow is my first day of classes at my new school. I just finished my orchestra placement auditions. It went well, I think; we'll see what happens with seating tomorrow afternoon.

Last Monday night I showed up to town with a car full of my possessions and no place to call my own. Thanks to the generosity of friends, I had a place to stay in Memphis as I house hunted. This past week has been a lot of running around, trying to find a place to live, getting holds taken care of, registering, trying to establish residency, trying to find furniture, etc. Basically, you're average hassle with moving to a new place on top of trying to get ready for school.

Walking on my new campus though gave me a flash back to my freshman year and how different I am now. Thinking back, I was probably just as adventurous then as I am now; but my courage has changed. I think it's increased. I'm more sure of who I am and what I want. I couldn't help but think of the contrast to what I'm even wearing. Thankfully, my style has changed along with everything else. I'm no longer that gym shoe wearing, hair in a slicked back pony-tail, tucked in tshirt, homeschool looking girl I once was. Nowadays, I don't tuck in my shirts ;)

I was also thinking about how good being in Europe was for me regarding courage.
Traveling, I've decided, is a whole lot more like life than anything else. Being in school, you're surrounded by teachers and mentors that are asking you what your life plans are. Don't get me wrong, 5 year plans are great. To a point. But, I think they forget to tell you to chill out when things don't happen exactly according to a plan you wrote half a decade ago. Life happens. You go out, either with expectations or not, prepared or not, and you come to a place that you really couldn't have expected. You can try to stop it, but something will always disrupt it. It's how you go with the flow, roll with the punches, how flexable.... you get the idea. I'm probably justifying my own tendencies to just-go-for things, but I think the thing people forget is that just because you're doing something new and albeit exciting, doesn't mean you aren't scared out of your mind.

New means uncharted.
Exciting means unexpected.
If you're not careful, that can all equate to fear.

With all of this, traveling in Europe was good for me because it forced me in (okay, I guess I ultimately signed up for them) situations where I had no choice but to ask questions. Forced me in situations where I knew nothing and everyone else knew it too. No other choice to put myself out there because, well, I already looked like an idiot, I might as well sound like one too.

Being here, I realized "Lil-Freshman-Rachel" would never have had the courage to ask questions like I am constantly doing now. It's funny because I think I look(ed) like a fool more often than I would care to admit. But maybe, just maybe, I'm coming to terms with that and not giving a d@mn.

I know what I want.
I'm getting better at asking directions on how to get there.
But, I'm also willing to go wherever the newest adventure takes me.

Here's to a season of more new.

Vienna

Tuesday night was my last concert in Europe. I stayed up most of the night celebrating with the orchestra and conductor after our (and my personal favorite) concert. The first half of the concert was the final round of the Meistersinger Competition. Every singer was on fire that evening. Singer after singer brought everything they had to the stage. It was an emotional roller coaster you didn't want to miss. While the judges left to decide the winners, we continued with the concert performing Bartok's Miraculous Mandarin. The rehearsals, the attention to detail, the gentle but pulling expectation for unified mastery, and above all the energy made this my favorite concert here. It's rare to have a time of work seem so exciting. The conductor was amazing, and while I could wish and hope that I'll play with him again, instead I'll do my best to hang on to his energy for music that was so captivating.
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Well, I've arrived safely back in the States and am currently in Atlanta trying to put down a few thoughts from my last trip. Wednesday morning I got up at 5:30 (I had only gotten to bed only 2 hours before) to catch the train to Vienna. I've spent 5 1/2 weeks in Europe, over half of it in Austria, and I hadn't yet gotten over to Vienna. I felt like that would be a mistake to miss.

The trams to the train station were spaced out more than I expected in the morning and I wound up actually missing the train that I wanted to catch. So, I chilled out by myself for an hour and had some Schokoschnecke for breakfast at the train station. Which by the way, this is by far my favorite Austrian dessert pastry I've come across. If you haven't tried one yet, do it.

I arrived in Vienna around 10:00. I got off the train and for a moment I almost panicked. I had specifically chosen to do this trip solo. And, for a second almost wished I hadn't. There's a lot of comfort being able to cross check your decisions with another person. Like"I think it's over here. Uh, no, it's this way." Alone, you kind of have to just go for it.

First I went to the information center and got a map. Which, by the way, was one of the most frustrating maps I've dealt with yet. There's no way to look at the thing without looking like a complete tourist. Particularly as you're having to shuffling it front to back constantly to figure out where you want to go and what metro line you should take. With my quickly growing travel expertise, I give it a 3 out of 10 for travel friendliness.

First thing I went to was St. Stephens Cathedral. It was beautiful and huge. Knowing the connection between Budapest and Vienna, it was hard not to compare their churches. So far I think I like St. Stephen's Basilica in Budapest better. I know they're obviously very different, but Vienna's didn't seem to be as well taken care of, or as pristine.

After St. Stephen's, I then found the Mozarthause which was conveniently just around the corner. That was really cool. While he was living there, he wrote the Marriage of Figaro. For a while it was known as the Figaro Hause. I was taking pictures during the tour and came across a paper with Mozart's signature next to his father's. I'm trying desperately to take a non-blurry picture when this man sneaks up on the side of me and whispers  in my ear "I'm watching you." I look at him shocked/horrified, trying to decide how the heck am I supposed to respond to that? Then he points to the video cameras in the corner and shaking his finger at me says, "no pictures".  Good golly, that was a creepy way to say "please, stop."

I only had a limited time as I had to catch the 8 pm train back to Graz. So, after the tour I quickly grab a bite to eat at a cafe. I order something that's described a meat filled pancake. It winds up looking and tasting like a Goulash filled Crepe. Very tasty.  

After lunch I head over to the Opera house to catch one of the last tours for the day. It was very beautiful. And very big, I might add. Again, I couldn't help but compare the opera house to Budapest's. While I think I would rather perform in Vienna's, I would definitely rather attend Budapest's. Vienna's was bigger, but Budapest's was far prettier in my opinion. No wonder the Emperor was pissed when he went to the opening performance. He told Hungary they couldn't build their opera house bigger than Vienna's but he forgot to say it couldn't be more beautiful.

After the tour, I took my friend's advice and found a dessert cafe across the street from the Opera house. Mt friend says most opera houses have really fine dessert places near them. I stopped at a place and they didn't have much. But, I went against my gut to keep looking, and ordered something anyway. The dessert wasn't great. I should have listened to myself and tried to find another place, but oh well.

After cake, I went walking around seeing various churches and statues. I really enjoyed this part because I could walk or stay and take pictures at my leisure. As a result, I was pleased with a number of shots that came out. But, there were a lot of horse drawn carriages everywhere, I had to be careful to pay attention and not get run over. Can't be too leisurely in the middle of the street...

Well, after missing my intended morning train, I made sure to get to the train station super early. I was pretty exhausted since I didn't get much sleep. And, I still had packing to look forward to when I got back to the dorm.

Well, at this point, I think this is my last post about my summer in Europe. Thanks to everyone who has followed my posts and continued to read. It's been fun sharing, and I hope you've enjoyed reading.

Last Concert

So I just woke up and realized. "Whoa. Where did my summer go?" Tonight is our last concert performing Bartok's Marvelous Mandarin with Paris Opera conductor, Marius Stieghorst. The concert is also the final round to the meistersinger vocal competition. The rehearsals with Marius have been wonderful. I am both excited and terrified to play under him. If we can have favorites, he is definitely my favorite to work with since being here.

Let me remind myself again. Tonight is our LAST concert. 

I think if it weren't for the proof of my picture taking, blog writing, and journal entries I would go "Wait, it's over? But, I didn't do anything yet."

I'll miss being woken up every morning at 5 am by the Mail Truck crashing into the courtyard and dropping (I literally mean, dropping) off the mail.

I could create an endless list of the things I'll miss, like the sparkling mineral water (I have become quite the addict). Or mention how I will need withdrawal support not being able to have gelato everyday (sometimes twice, #noshame). It's been hot as the Oklahoma Prairie over here. Don't judge.

But, maybe not right now.

What I do know is that I'll be thinking of Europe a lot this up coming year. Just even processing my time here will take a while. My appetite for world travel has been awakened and been found hungry. At this point I have no idea if I'll come back to AIMS. But, after coming here, I realized this world just got smaller. There's lots to explore and it's too small to be making excuses anymore not to see it.

Tomorrow, I have a single day off before my plane takes me back to the great US of A. What am I doing with it? Well, today after our dress rehearsal I'm once more, and last more, going to the train station to buy myself a ticket. A ticket to Vienna. I had intended to get over there earlier, but you really can't do everything while you're here. Though in many respects I've certainly tried. I'll leave for vienna on the 5:30 train and come back to Graz at about 1am. I'm doing this trip solo, to which I'm looking forward.

I don't regret any of my time here.
And I think that says something.

Church in Styria

So, today I played my first church service in Europe, performing a Mozart Mass. It was a special service, with the Bishop in attendance. It was the last service the Benedictine Monks are serving in Styria. I found this out afterwards from someone who understood what was being said during the service. The monk, who was in charge of the order here in Styria, passed away in an accident and apparently they were unable(?) to find a replacement. So, from what I understand, they are now leaving the area.

The church was a modest building, which was honestly refreshing. After seeing all the ornate alters and stained glass windows, it was nice to be able to worship in a building that feels like it reflects my position before God and not the other way around. I don't think the simpleness is anything to be ashamed of.

I think I've said it before, but these ornate churches require (from me) a special humbleness to worship in them. To not get caught up in the glory of something man made, but rather the beauty and glory of God that is reflected. It is honestly not something I'm used to. (That's not to say I haven't been in nature or a beautiful place, and been moved by the beauty of God reflected. But, they are seldom designated places of worship). But, even knowing the purpose of these churches, it's proven more difficult than I imagined to feel able to come before God as I am: dirty and in need of sanctification. When I come before God, I know I have little to offer. But, sometimes seeing what's around me, causes me to wonder if maybe other people have something to offer. That's neither true nor the point, I realize. But, regardless, it's sometimes difficult to enter in knowing who I am and how God sees me and not speculate at what everyone else looks like and has to offer.

This brings me to this post I keep thinking about that I read earlier this week...

http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2011/10/its-just-a-fking-little-16th-note-but-you-have-to-play-it/

...Good art really does expose who you are. What your strengths and you weaknesses are. I've recognized that early on with Bach, like the post above mentions. Which is one of the reasons why I think I require extra courage to play it the older I get. But, I never expected a building to expose my weaknesses: my tendency to compare myself to everyone around me. When what I need to be doing is looking towards my perfection in Christ. But, this building also shows my strengths. Being able to see the beauty around me, for who it is. The strength to appreciate, to soak in, and fully experience. And, my desire to enter into worship wherever I go.

I like the honesty with being laid bare. Coming as you are. For that is the only way we can come before Jesus. It's Jesus, adorned, who comes before us, inviting us in.

These places, they all just lay me bare differently.

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Well, this afternoon after church I had a lovely day to myself. I went out to lunch and had one of my favorite greek dishes: Dolmathakia. And, of course, some baklava.

I then went to the park and set up my hammock and commenced to have some quiet time with God, completed by a wonderful nap afterwards. For the record, I only fell out of my hammock once. Everyone here is trying to find ways to combat the heat (it's 99 degrees and almost 10 pm). Blurg. Most people went swimming (which I did yesterday and will do again tomorrow). But, today, I decided to take to the shade and read beneath some trees. Quite rewarding if you ask me, and well worth it.

Dolmathakia

Baklava

Wagner: Götterdämmerung

So yesterday was the 2nd concert of our Wagner program. The first concert was in a Casino here in Graz. Yesterday, we took a 3 hour bus ride to do a run out concert in the town of Millstatt, which is situated by the Gurktal Alps. We performed in the Millstatt Abbey, which was established in 1070. It has been renovated, some of the dates I saw on the building dating back to the 1500's and even 1600's.

Main Hall Sanctuary

The side wing chapel

Well, as usual I could go on just talking about the city, the church, or everything else really. But this concert was one of my favorites, for one reason: getting to perform with Linda Watson, Wagnerian Soprano.

This concert was difficult in that it was Wagner: Which means a lot of notes (many unplayable), not a lot of time to do them, and it's all thick with emotion. Basically, it's really hard work. I like Wagner, I do. But, after the second rehearsal was almost over, I was less than enthused. Probably more a combination of being exhausted than anything to do with the music, but I was ready for this concert to be over. Then, came our last piece, Brünnhilde's final aria from Götterdämmerung and in walks Linda. During the aria, Brünnhilde "calls out to Loge to set fire to Valhalla and destroy once and for all the gods who have caused her such pain. She then lights Siegfried's funeral pyle, mounts her house, and rides directly into it." 

Hearing her sing made it even more difficult to play Wagner, because I wanted to just listen. Talking with people afterwards, many of us experienced similar reactions. We didn't know whether to laugh or to cry. Whatever we felt, what we heard was other worldly.

It's moments like that, as a musician, that keeps you coming back. Even when it's hard, being a part of that "other worldly experience" makes all that difficult passage work worthwhile and is soon forgotten.

Well, that's all. Here's a few more pictures around the town. Also, I snapped a picture of a statue of Lorenzo Da Ponte, (my favorite) Librettist to Mozart. I don't know if that means he just lived here for a while or if he wrote at all while he was here. But, either way, that's pretty cool.

waiting for the start of the concert

The Millstatt Abbey from the outside

inside the courtyard